It’s funny how when you have a baby you fall into certain kinds of roles without meaning to. John and I were talking the other week about where we fall in regards to this.
It would seem that I have taken on the role of the parent who keeps the baby alive. Now, this is only natural really because I am home with Erin most of the day. John seems to have taken on the role as the ‘fun’ parent. I don’t really like to put those labels on it to be honest but it does seem the easiest way to explain.
It was certainly never our intentions to think of ourselves in this way. I think we both thought everything would be really equal and Erin would see us in the same way. As I am home with Erin all day I tend to do all bottles and most of the meals. It’s rare that John feeds Erin and he really doesn’t like doing it anyway for some reason. Sometimes she can be a bit fussy and John gets a bit frustrated with it all. I make sure Erin gets up in the morning and has enough naps in the day to keep her happy and well-rested.
John, on the other hand, is at work most of the time so he doesn’t do the same kinds of things with Erin as I do. When he gets home from work he tries to play with her as much as he can which sometimes isn’t a lot. Erin can sometimes be tired already depending on when he gets home. Sometimes John has to walk the dog not long after getting home so only gets about half an hour with Erin. John also does bath and bed time most nights so he gets to play in the bath with her and also read her bed time stories.
Sunday is normally Daddy and Erin day. John is supposed to get all day playing with her while I get a break and some time to catch up with anything else I need to do. John gets the majority of nappy changes on a Sunday. He gets up with her when she wakes up so I can get a lay in which also means him sorting out her breakfast on his own… and feeding her!
It is because of the way that our lives that we have fallen into these roles. I don’t want to thought of as the ‘boring’ parent and I don’t want Erin to get too used to only me feeding her. John and I do try to mix things up a bit with me doing bath/ bed twice a week and him feeding Erin dinner now and again. Sometimes it doesn’t feel like it is enough though. I feel like we’ve already gotten stuck in our ways and Erin is only 6 months old.
I wish things were more equal. I don’t know if I can see that happening for quite some time though.
Do you have this issue in your family?
Do you have any advice for changing things up a bit and making sure we do things as equally as possible?