Me in the maize maze

The Wrong Side Of 30

You know when you’re growing up and you think you have all the time in the world? I remember feeling that way at about 20/21. I’d just moved to Toronto to live there for a year and I remember feeling like I could do absolutely anything. At that age I was pretty brave and completely fearless. I’m not sure how much of a good thing that was though really.

20-30 seemed to be gone in the blink of an eye. Moving back from Toronto, going to university, both graduating and getting married in the same year… I had a lot going on. I sort of had it in my head that by the time I was 30 I would be married, have a mortgage, a home and either be pregnant or have a child. I don’t really know why. But, I did actually manage to achieve all of those things. Erin was born in January 2016, making me 30 when she was a few months old.

Our wedding day

It honestly feels like it was 2 minutes ago that I was getting on that plane to Toronto. Now though, I find myself with 35 as my next birthday and wondering how the years have passed so quickly. Wasn’t Erin born not too long ago? How is next year my 8th wedding anniversary?

So, with 40 in the not too distant future it has sort of got me thinking about things I might like to do or achieve in that time. If you’d asked me last year I might have had a whole list of plans. Covid has sort of put a dampener on any kind of plans and I don’t feel right trying to think too far ahead.

At The Assembly House, Norwich

Really, I would love to learn to drive but I don’t want to do it wearing a mask. I tried to learn to drive at 17 and had a bad experience and I feel very nervous about doing it again. I don’t want to add any extra stress or anxiety to that so the thought of wearing a mask during lessons worries me.

I would love to go back to Canada, to show John and Erin why I fell in love with Toronto so much. I would love to go back to Florida for our 10th wedding anniversary but the costs are just insane and there’s no way we’ll be able to afford that in the next 2 years. I’d love to go on a cruise but again, Covid has sort of ruined that idea for me at the minute.

For now, I’m not going to look too far ahead. None of us knows how the next year is going to but I do hope that maybe between 35-40 I can think about what I might want to do a bit more.


The Wrong Side Of 30

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