Last week someone came back to work after being on maternity leave. She was not happy to be back at work, and I don’t blame her at all. The first thing she asked me, knowing that I have a young daughter myself was ‘Does it get easier?’ People had been telling her that it does get easier.
I had to tell her the truth from my point of view. I honestly don’t think it does get any easier. I have been back at work now for about 5 months. I went back earlier than I had planned and to a different job completely. Although the job I have now is a lot better than the one I would have gone back to, I still never want to go. I work three evenings a week from 530 to 930. As jobs go, mine is pretty easy and I have no responsibility whatsoever, one of the reasons why I took the job in the first place.
Every evening at 515 I have to leave the house, watching John and Erin giggling and having fun. I want to be there with them. I understand how John has felt this whole time now. It’s even harder to leave when she cries for me and reaches out her arms waiting for me to take her back again. No matter how Erin reacts to me leaving, I want to stay and be with her and John.
I know that really, going to work is good for me. Having PND means that some time away from Erin is vital. I know I need adult only time and unfortunately, that only comes in the form of going to work. I do enjoy my time at work. The people I work with are fantastic and I get on with everyone really well. I have fun at work. That doesn’t stop me wishing I was back at home for every second that I’m there.
I count down the minutes until I can go home, sneak into Erin’s room and check on her as soon as I get in. I count down the minutes until I can listen to her snoring away in her cot.
So, my answer really is no, it doesn’t get easier. Not for me anyway. I assume it might do years down the line when Erin is at school but I can’t see it being easier any time soon.
Did you find that going to work got easier as time went on?
I am not returning to work – and these are the main reasons I don’t want to. Everyone I’ve spoken too says it’s so tough but that they cope because they have to
I have to work which is why I haven’t given my notice and said sod it!
I really relate to this. I have been back so worth for 6 months and I’m still waiting for it to get easier but I don’t see thay happening. I work 5 days a week and am out of the house for almost 12 hours a day. It’s hard and I hate it. I know I don’t want to give up work completely, but it would be nice to work part time and have a mix of me time and time with my son. I hope one day I will get that. Thanks for an honest post!
Completely relate and sympathise. I went back to full time work after a year’s maternity leave and hated every minute of it. It was even more stressful trying to beat the traffic to make it back to collect my son from nursery by 6pm and having no time with him in the evenings whatsoever. I eventually changed my hours to work 8.30-4.30 but that still didn’t help. I applied for part-time hours last year and had to fight to get them on a temporary basis. I do love my job but hate how my family have had to compromise because of it. We’ve actually made the decision to change our lives completely and with that in mind I handed my notice in a month ago. It feels great and I’m counting the days down. I know alot of people can’t give up their jobs for financial reasons but I’m with you when you say it doesn’t get easier. It hasn’t gotten easier for me in 2 years x
If we could afford for me not to work I’d do it in a heartbeat
I completely agree – I don’t think it ever gets easier, it just becomes routine. Even though I work from home I still find it hard dropping the boys off to my mums on the two days I work!
I definitely think it got easier. But then I am very lucky with childcare as I work in the same place as my daughter. However I am due back in September after my second so I will come back to you then haha ox
Oh I don’t think I’d mind as much in your position
Lyndsey I couldn’t agree more. I felt it anything it got worse, I enjoyed work at first, being back, having adult interaction. But the more I’d see others who worked from home I definitely envied them a bit – I wished I could do the same. Though I know for my own sanity I couldn’t, i don’t think it got easier.
I would love to work from home if I could
For me it definitely got easier, but I know it’s not the same for everyone. I loved getting some me/adult time and knew the interaction at nursery was good for my daughter. Saying that though, after my second there was no way I wanted to go back! xx
I think I’ll find it easier when Erin is at nursery as well
I am lucky that I have been a stay at home mum for the last two years but I remember how hard it was being a working mum. In some ways it got easier in that I liked the adult company and earning my own money etc but I hated missing out on things with my daughter xx
I’m lucky I only miss out a bit in the evening but its still hard
Oh, this has made me want to sob! I go back in August and I am so sad about it!
Some people find it a lot easier than I have
Aw bless you, I think if I had children, I would be just absolutely the same and would want some kind of device in my handbag so I could be constantly sneeking looks x
I found going back to work so difficult after maternity leave. I was doing two (long) days a week for the first four months and then i was supposed to go up to three days a week. And I couldn’t do it. I lasted two months before I handed my notice in, and worked the last month and was so glad to not have to go any more. I guess it might have been different if I had really loved my job or if I could have worked shorted days
I didn’t go back to my old job after having kids. I work from home for myself so my case is different. But I can imagine it never gets easier.
I have to say I don’t find it getting any easier and my oldest is 10. I still hate leaving them and find it harder since they went to school. It is hard not doing the school run every day, etc. We just do what we have to hon and it is hard, but makes being at home that much more special xx
I’ve been so lucky to be able to stay home with all of mine so I can’t imagine how hard it must be.