It was all going so well

This whole parenting thing was going so well. Then the past two weeks have been shit. I’ll be honest, being a parent has not been fun and I have struggled.

The first crappy week was when my mum was here to stay. Erin cut her first tooth the weekend before that and got another a couple of days later. She was so upset and in pain through it and I found it so hard to comfort her. We tried a few different kinds of teething gels as well as the granules. Nothing really seemed to work.

Last week was even worse and I didn’t think that was possible. Straight after my mum’s visit the following Monday Erin has diarrhoea, which turned into a week of constipation. Every day I was unsure about what to do with her. Should I take her to the doctors? Part of the day she’d be completely fine, making me think she was actually okay. Then at other times she would scream for what felt like hours. I could do absolutely nothing to help her. Until she had managed to poo, she was absolute hell. After that, she would sleep for as long as possible!

I felt so bad for Erin, because she was clearly in so much pain. Again, I didn’t really know what to do with her. I knew the reason why she was in pain but there was nothing I could do to help her. The screaming and the crying got to me. Big time. In fact, I would say that it broke me. I sat on the floor crying quite a lot last week. I wished I could stay in bed and not get up. I didn’t actually leave the house properly until Friday. I was an absolute mess.

I will go as far as saying I hated being a mum. I felt like I was a complete and utter failure. I couldn’t even comfort my own daughter. I should have been able to do that. I was in such a state last week I was seriously thinking about going to see a doctor for myself. I think I was getting myself more worked up thinking it was a real possibility of reaching a state of depression.

On the Sunday night I finally gave up and called 111. Erin had a screaming session that lasted nearly 2 hours. I couldn’t do it any more. Shortly after the phone call was made Erin had done her business and fell asleep. The doctor didn’t really say much to be honest, apart from that she probably had a stomach bug and it would pass.

Thankfully, this week has been much better. John is off work and has been such a massive help. He knew how exhausted I was after last week and has let me sleep a lot. He has had Erin for most of the day, feeding her and playing with her so I can relax. Erin is feeling so much better and I have my happy girl back.

I don’t feel like quite as much of a failure as I did last week.

19 thoughts on “It was all going so well”

  1. My son suffered very badly with his bowels when he was a baby. When they start screaming there is very little you can do other than make sure it isn’t anything serious by calling the doctor, giving plenty of fluids and diarolyte for diarrohea and fresh orange juice and possibly adding in stewed prunes for constipation. If she really can’t pass a stool a doctor can give a pessory.

  2. Glad things are better this week. I can imagine how horrible it must have been for you. I remember how bad it was when T was teething too. She would have high temperatures that would make me feel really paranoid. Hopefully Erin’s teething will be over soon. x

  3. Oh poor you, I’m sending you a big virtual hug!! We have all been there and felt rubbish!! Sounds like you’re doing an amazing job, it isn’t easy and you were giving Erin the live she needed, even though it was tough for you! I’ve not had great experience with the 111 service to be honest, next time I’d go straight to GP (they should all hold emergency appointments) my niece had terrible problems with her bowels and needed some medical support, but she is a happy, healthy 7 year old now! It does get easier. Well done super mum! xx

    1. Thank you so much!! Luckily 111 were good to us this time but the doctor wasn’t quite as thorough as I’d have liked. So happy we’re both happier now 😀 x

  4. Oh lovely it is so difficult when they are teething and having bugs. It is hard, we try to what’s best. You are never a failure and there are times when it is so hard. But you are doing great. Hugs xx

  5. It’s so difficult when they are like this and can’t tell you what’s wrong and you can’t soothe them. Archie is nearly four and still not talking due to his Autism so we have lot’s of day like this. I feel such a rubbish mum sometimes but you do get through it xx

  6. Oh my goodness times like these are so hard and we have had plenty of them – hopefully a rainbow will be round the corner soon for you.

  7. We all have weeks like that, my son suffered constipation until he was 18 months and would scream for hours even with medication. Thankfully he decided to potty train himself and now has no problems at all. Sometimes being a parent is just hard work, more so when little ones are unwell. I am glad this week is going better for you x

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