I’m sure I’m not alone when I say that the summer holidays scare the crap out of me.
A couple of years ago I went through a pretty bad time with post natal depression and unfortunately, it’s not something that has completely gone away. At the time, I really wasn’t coping very well with being at home all day, every day with Erin and because of that (as well as other reasons) we decided to put Erin into nursery at 2. My stress levels came down quite quickly and I didn’t find myself panicking quite as much on a daily basis.
Last year Erin went to a nursery where she could attend all year round. When the nursery closed down at the end of December we were obviously forced to find Erin somewhere new. However, living in a small town and not able to drive meant that we had very few options. Some of the nurseries were already full when we started looking and some we either hated or didn’t even offer full days. Although we absolutely love the Montessori nursery Erin goes to now, it only offers term time attendance.
So far we have had a couple of half term breaks and the Easter holidays and they honestly weren’t as bad as I was expecting. I either had a few things planned so we kept busy or my Mum was here to stay for a bit and that really helped. Mostly, I was really looking forward to the summer holidays. I really miss Erin during the week when she’s at nursery and I miss the quality time we used to get together. Up until the start of the holidays I was pretty optimistic about how well it would go.
The first day was not the fun, happy day that I thought it would be. We were in the middle of a horrendous heat wave and that definitely got to both me and Erin. We didn’t even manage to get past 9am without Erin having a tantrum. We didn’t make it past lunch time without us getting seriously annoyed with each other, both us of shouting and both of us crying. That first day of the holidays was actually the complete opposite of what I wanted it to be.
I hate admitting that the thought of multiple long days with Erin raises my stress and anxiety. I feel like I’m the worst mother in the world for not being excited about spending the whole summer with my daughter. Of course, I do get excited about spending time with her and the days out we have planned but I also panic about taking her out somewhere on my own and her being a nightmare. I panic about getting to places on time or keeping her safe while we’re out and about. I lack patience at home, especially when Erin goes through phases of not listening, doing anything opposite of what I ask her to or in general, being a nightmare 3 year old.
I don’t have the whole summer holidays of it being just me and Erin though. I made sure that John has time off as well as my Mum coming to visit for a week so I do have help. Right now, I’m trying to take it one day at a time and hoping that it doesn’t result in both of us crying by the end of the day.
PIN IT FOR LATER
Having the children at home is hard work. I work in a school so it’s about making time for me to have some downtime as well, selfish Mumma hey!
So far we are doing ok but that heatwave week was a killer and we just hid indoors really!
Take your time and enjoy the moments you can x
I totally get this. We’re fortunate that Jenson goes all year round but he’s starting Big School in a few weeks and I’m already worried about managing the holiday periods. I currently work part-time and have one day a week, 9.30-2.30, just for me, where I tend to work on my own creative projects rather than catching up on housework or binge watching a new show. I can’t imagine what it’s like to have to constantly entertain a child, be completely drained of energy and have no time for yourself.
I actually completely relate to this! I work term time so I am off with my two kids until beginning of September and my mental health has massively plummeted! Whereas I was feeling the best I had done in a long time before the holidays!
I love the idea of the school holidays and being with the kids 24/7, but they started bickering and fighting from the word go and it gets really stressful
I completely understand this feeling and often feel it, so you’re not alone. My daughters go to nursery two days a week and that time is very much needed for all of us – looking after yourself is so important because children need a happy mummy 🙂
my eldest only attends during term time and it is HARD. They are accustomed to a certain level of activity and stimulation during the day and we just can’t provide that at home can we.
I think the summer holidays can be very overwhelming. Just the thought of juggling everything and trying to make sure you have enough money can be very stressful.
We had ten days away, and the rest of the summer was pretty much business as usual for us. I’ve been working my usual three days a week, and the kids have been at nursery and summer camp (instead of school/ after school club). I currently work for one of Edinburgh’s festivals, so I can’t take much time off over the summer as it’s peak time at work.
I can only imagine how scary it must feel sometimes I know my SIL feels the same at times so we make sure we all there most days.