It seems like my social media feeds are full of pregnancy and newborn babies at the moment and I am reading loads of blog posts about second children. I love seeing other blogger’s huge announcements and squishy new babies but at the same time it makes me realise that the questions about us having another child probably aren’t going to stop any time soon. The thing is, we won’t be having any more children and we’re more than happy just to have Erin. People seem to think that a family isn’t complete until children have siblings to play with but having one child works perfectly for us and here’s why:
I honestly don’t think I could have coped with more than 1 child. I have had some real mental health issues since Erin was born and PND is not a nice thing to have to cope with. I think it would be safe to say that I struggled from the day that Erin was born and I still have days where I break down a bit and feel like I’m failing at everything to do with parenting. I am okay for the most part now but some days I just don’t cope very well at all and I think having another child would just make me more stressed about everything in general.
One on one time
I absolutely love being able to give Erin my undivided attention on a daily basis. I think we have only ever had a family member look after Erin once in nearly 3 years and a friend looking after her for a couple of hours when she was about 8 months old so really, it’s usually just me and Erin for the majority of each day. Because of this, I think we’re the closest we can possibly be and I love the bond we have. It doesn’t make things easy for John at times though because when she wants me, no one else will do and that can get hard.
Erin being an only child also means that John gets one on one time with her as well. Sundays are John and Erin’s day together and generally they will go swimming in the morning and then play outside if the weather is nice in the afternoon. I try to stay out of the way as much as possible so that these two get the time they really need together. John already sees Erin less than he would like to because of work and with another child, this time would be even less!
Erin started nursery a couple of days after her 2nd birthday. The baby classes we had been going to stopped at age 1 and we stopped really seeing other people with children Erin’s age so her going to nursery early was a really important thing for us. Of course, Erin being at nursery for 3 days a week also helped me to cope better and to be less stressed a lot of the time. It was the best situation all round really.
However, we don’t get the 2 year funding so we have been paying for just over 20 hours a week for nearly a year and the cost is a lot. It’s hard to pay for sometimes and it’s been a struggle some months but it’s also been necessary for everyone. If we’d had another baby, or was even thinking about it, I don’t know that we could have put Erin in nursery so early.
Even though we didn’t go anywhere for the first year after Erin was born we have since been very lucky to have had plenty of weekends away and holidays. This year we have been to Majorca, Haven in Caister-on-Sea and Center Parcs. Obviously we won’t be going on 3 holidays a year every year. We paid for Haven with vouchers that John won at work and Center Parcs was split between family members so these holidays weren’t as expensive as they could have been.
I know, without a shadow of a doubt, that had we had another child that we wouldn’t have gone on any of these holidays. It just wouldn’t have been possible. We all love holidays, especially Erin now, and that’s not something I want to have to give up. I didn’t go on holidays as a child really and it was one of the things I was desperate to be able to give Erin.
There are obviously lots more reasons why I love only having one child, but these are just a few I thought I’d share. I asked some other bloggers who only have one children why they think it’s great and here’s what they had to say:
Over 40 And A Mum To One: I think I’m lucky that I don’t have to juggle the needs of different children at different ages, with different interests. My son is very lucky that we can tailor the majority of our days out to his specific interests. Also with things at school, I don’t need to be in two different places at the same time.
Chilling With Lucas: Financially it is so much better in that we can do more as it’s one child entrance fee, one more person on holiday etc. I wouldn’t be able to spontaneously have lunch out or day trips if I was paying more.
Isablog: Nap time literally means chill out time for me. Having another child might mean that nap time will be stressful as I doubt you’ll get both napping at the same time.
A Life Just Ordinary: Much easier to do things as a family as only one little one to keep happy (sounds easier than it is though!). Meal times are easier as only one fussy eater to keep content. One school run instead of two. Easier to go on holiday with nanny and granddad as only need the one car. We always wanted 2 but are very happy with 1, and as an only child myself I’m happy that I turned out ok(ish)…
Welsh Mum Of One: We try to leave a low environmental footprint and think about the future from an eco perspective, and only having one is a very good way of doing that!
Our Bucket List Lives: One of the main advantages for us it the one on one time that we can give him. I spend 30 minutes with him reading to me and me reading to him every night. I’m not sure I could give him that if we had two children or more. He certainly gets a huge amount of love and attention and of course a great benefit is the cost. Just one mouth to feed, one child to pay for entry at an attraction, one person on holiday, the list could go on. It also means we can fit more adults in the back of the car when we go out for the day.
Care Johnson: You can call them your favourite without anyone getting jealous. I treat my 3 year old like an absolute king, I’ve managed to spend more time with him rather than splitting my time with another child to make sure he knows wrongs and rights in life, how to properly treat and respect people and take him on trips out as a reward without it costing a lot (cause there’s only one to pay for!)
Of course, I’m not saying that having only 1 child is the way to go for everyone. It’s great that it works out for the best for us but I know there would be so many positive things for other families who have more than 1 child!
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